For those who signed up for the Cynic’s Guide way back when, this new series may be what you were expecting (compared to whatever it is you got) it’s just me, trying on every damn self-improvement business hustle malarkey under the sun in an effort to make something stick, or at least make money, in 30 days. Let’s go.

It’s business time

I am wearing my business socks, mm. Because I am addicted to eating food and having a house, I am attempting to spool up a business in 30 days. This isn’t quite as follycious^[1] as it might sound; people sometimes manage this stuff in a weekend. The target I’ve set myself is $10k revenue a month, which is a curious combination of lofty and about what a supermarket middle manager earns, but I’d rather shoot for the moon and miss and… end up asphyxiating during a decaying eccentric orbit? Damn my inability to let trite metaphors go unexamined. I’m giving it a damn good go, put it that way.

The model I am using – because I like easily divisible numbers – is 10 revenue streams of $1000 each. Of course it may not shake out that way, chances are some will be more and some substantially less, but here’s the 10 that I think I can spin up from scratch or develop out over the next 30 days.

1. Corporate comms and marketing stuff. I would be silly not to do this; it’s been my bread and butter for a decade now. To that end I have set up a website for a freelance case study business, specialising in being a tech whisperer for industries that absolutely suck at selling themselves. If you’re an accountant, systems integrator, infosec consultant, or your business has anything to do with Linux, you’d better make that call to the Content King.^[2]
2. Art shop. https://tworuru.com has been ticking over for ages now, but I’ve never really souped it up. I’ve been absolutely smashing out art lately and the plan is to make – at minimum – three kinds of product for each new piece I make: a print, a sticker, and a t-shirt.
3. Commissions. A bunch of people have bought a commissioned artwork since I opened them up again and I am very grateful; you are keeping the (two) wolves from the door. You can get one of your own here if you’re so inclined: https://www.tworuru.com/product/custom-commission/
4. Two Ruru Snail-Mail Print Club^[3]. You subscribe and you get a print and a letter in the mail, each month! Like the olden days! I am actually absurdly excited about his one as I think I have come up with a really unusual twist on the fairly well-done concept of a snail mail club. I’ll introduce in an upcoming email. I’ll let you guys know first, because you’re cool. Oh and everyone who joins the Snail Mail Print Club also gets access to:
5. Two Ruru Email Print Club. Exactly the same idea as the above, but users will subscribe just like you do to this newsletter and I’ll send you the letter and prints via electronic mail. Oh and I almost forgot; everyone who subs to either Print Club will get access to a downloadable archive of every artwork I’ve ever made.
6. The newsletters. Yup, you’re here too! If I can get around ~200 paid subscribers a month, that’s 10 percent of my revenue requirement taken care of. And – as I hope this email proves – I will be writing a lot more. If I’ve made my case well enough, scroll down to the big red button

That’s just the first six for now – I realise, now that I’m on a roll, that I have lots more of these in various stages of feasibility and completion, and these emails are meant to be short. So I’ll talk about the next five ideas/revenue streams in the next one of these thirty day challenge emails. And in the following email I’ll put in what I plan to be doing on each of the subsequent 29 days – there will be a new, business-time focus for each day. Today was “Explain the plan”.

“Artwork” of the day

I’m tired. Here’s a duck.

Today’s video

I made a video of me painting the black hole scene from Interstellar, one of my favourite sequences and visuals in any film. I love the painting. I’m less sure about the video, but I never know about those.

And here’s the one from the day before, in which I painted those weird lights you see when you shut your eyes. People seemed to like it.

What did you do today self-improvement-wise?

I went for a run. Pre-kids I could whip out a casual 10k and now… I can’t. So I am taking it easy, because nothing will stymie me like a swollen knee. I am doing Couch to 5K. Should you be struck by the urge to join me, feel free. Because I am more bougie than I am comfortable with, I am using an app. You don’t have to use the app; there are plenty of training programs available online and you can get pretty accurate distance estimates via Google Maps or your neighbourhood.

Lifehacks

When I come across anything I’m doing that helps me on this mad caper, I’m putting it here.

Making the most of your spare minutes

I’m writing this particular snippet in the nine minutes the air fryer has to finish doing the burger patties we got in the 3 for $20 deal. If I have a useful lifehack to offer, it’s that productive activities – or, less toxically, “things I genuinely want or need to do but end up doomscrolling instead” – can be done in the same time blocks, on the same device, that you’d typically use to have a hoon on the Tok pipe. The more I do this the more I find that the phone in my pocket is a boon instead of a curse, and it’s one of the very few self-improvement plans that survives contact with kids. Things that have built-in timers work well for this method. It’ll go beep in a minute or few, and I’ll leave the laptop and go assemble burgers for me and (Borat voice) My Wife.

Markdown

Writer? Get yourself a Markdown editor and learn Markdown. It’s the fastest, most distraction-free, and ultimately foolproof (and I am very foolish) way to format as you write. I use Obsidian for the moment – it’s what I used to write this – but there are lots of others. Many, including Obsidian, are free. Get amongst!

Yeah/Nah

A few minutes before sending this out I realised that some of the people who signed up to my “Yeah” list also clicked “Nah” to receiving an email every day for the next 30 days. I am sorry about this but you must admit that it is a very funny, very Kiwi problem to have, given how we tend to use this expression. Of course it’s my fault; I simply shouldn’t have included a “Nah” option. If you’re getting this email and you’d rather not, simply reply to this one and let me know I messed up, and I’ll take you off the list.

For everyone who did want to get these, welcome! I hope you enjoyed Day 1.

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1. This, a portmanteau of “folly” and "fallacious’ is not a word, but it should be. ↩︎

2. Old Simpsons fans: this is exactly the joke you think it is. Also I apologise for the AI generated image; it’s a placeholder. I need to create a new File Photo as none of mine were even verging on professional. ↩︎

3. I am thinking of setting some ground rules, and the first and second rule will probably be “Talk about Print Club”. ↩︎