I know, I know, I said I’d get this out bright and early, but apparently bright and early is (at the time of writing) 10:30 PM. However, this fundamental inability to get a newsletter out before sunset has given me an incredible idea, based on the shittiest, griftiest, shiftiest, outright dumbest self-help tome I ever read: The Morning Miracle. This book, with fellow travellers like The 5 AM Club, claim that your inability to rise before 4 AM is what’s holding you back in life. Well, here’s my contra-thesis, in the form of an obnoxious self-help book blurb:

The Midnight Method

Author, artist, entrepreneur, male model and playboy dilettante’s Joshua Drummond’s otherwise perfect life was marred by just one flaw: his urgent need to rise at 5 AM. He felt like he was cursed to be an early riser – until he discovered this one weird secret trick: The Midnight Method. In this 864 page book and accompanying webinar series, Drummond outlines the ultimate lifehack that changed it all – staying up late every single night. His rediscovery of the secret known by midnight luminaries from Benjamin Franklin to Imhotep is exactly what your sad life has been missing. The Midnight Method will teach you the seven highly effective habits that lead to being a regular night-owl, and will at last unlock your health, productivity, riches, love life, and happiness.

There you go. Wasn’t that horrible? It’s accurate, though; The Morning Miracle and my Midnight Method have the exact same thesis at their core: go without a bit of sleep to get more stuff done, or go for a jog, or something. It’s just that one is surrounded by weird biblical hang-ups about wise men rising early, and the other is culturally frowned upon.

I promised you a list. I also did a spreadsheet, but it’s not ready for public consumption. That will have to be tomorrow.

I reserve the right to change the order of the following items without notice, but this is pretty much the order in which I want to get stuff done. In between these specific jobs, I will of course be working on commissions and making videos and cooking food and changing nappies: ideally not all at the same time.

28 Days Later

1. Ideas, part 1
2. Ideas, part 2
3. A 28-day todo list (you are here).
4. Secret project
5. Daddy Capitalism: add a whole bunch of products to the store and send out an email to customers. Work on secret project.
6. Rejection therapy: Ring around 20 art/gallery/souvenir-ish shops and see if they’ll stock my stuff. Finish secret project.
7. Very Specific Parody Video: I’ve been wanting to do this for ages. I figure it’ll take about a day to film.
8. Rejection therapy, part 2: Ask customers for testimonials. Ask local cafe/venues about drink&draws.
9. Plug me pls Ask influencers for plugs. Prepare materials for Print Club.
10. Print Club 7: Launch preorders for print club – digital and physical.
11. Level Up Louise: This is my awful code name for my adult drawing course. I’d like to get a few people learning from this weekend.
12. Day of Rest: I will probably spend Sunday resting with family, by which I mean “doing chores”
13. Again, capitalism daddy: Adding more products to the shop
14. Business time: Business plans and investment pitches. As much fun as it sounds.
15. Those that can’t: Developing course materials for professional development course
16. Brand me: hitting up corporations – greeting card companies, apparel companies, whoever it is who makes jigsaws, etc – to see if they want birds or other paintings/designs on their shit
17. Artwork for corridors: put up a website page advertising the suitability of my stuff for doctor’s surgeries or hospital waiting rooms or other depressing places that need something cheerful in them
18. Crowd Fund: Investigate some kind of crowdfunding for Season 1 of Everybob or something.
19. The First Rule of Print Club: Actually launch print club
20. Look for investors: I’m pretty sure you find them under rocks, right?
21. Send out prints for print club
22. Moar products on the store, another email to customers. The aim is to have a print, a shirt, and a sticker available for pretty much everything I make.
23. Stage a drink & draw
24. Stage an art class
25. Stage a professional development presentation / lesson
26. Launch crowdfunding
27. Pitch to investors
28. Apply for a real job. I kid! If I see real jobs that look awesome I will apply for them anyway.

That is a lot and obviously jobs will blend into each other or stretch out across days, it is all subject to change, but getting all the shit I need to do written out is cathartic.

Today’s video

I made a video about ruining one of my Everybob paintings with a duck. It did OK on Instagram, terrible on YouTube, and for some reason – I genuinely have no idea why – it is going gangbusters on TikTok. Last I looked it was getting about hundred views every other minute. This doesn’t mean much, especially in the TikTok scheme of things where 1 million views barely rates as viral, but it’s still easily the most successful video I’ve done even if the algorithm arbitrarily cuts off the view firehose in the next five minutes. Check it out here:

@tworuru

This absolute unit of a duck has blessed your timeline to pass on a very important message: you’re wonderful. Pass the duck on to someone who needs to hear it. #motivation #painting #rubberducky #bobross #positivity

♬ Wes Anderson-esque Cute Acoustic – Kenji Ueda

Self-improvement

I did a bunch of pullups as part of a houseworkout. Remember my New Year’s resolution? I’m still on it. I really want to get that muscle-up before December ends.

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Here as always is the big red button that helps me out. You know what to do.