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Tag: writing
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Go warm turkey on screen-time
It’s Thanksgiving, or near enough to it, and that’s enough of a segue to another article about the benefits of cold-turkeying your phone screentime. And I owe you an update on how I’m doing since last week’s effort. Here it is.

Screenshot And while 1.5 hours a day (where it’s sat since) is a huge improvement, and I’m pleased that a lot of that screentime was substituted with being present with my kids or doing actual work, it is still too damn high. So I continue on my scrolling-reduction buzz; I hope you’re all cool with that. Luckily it seems like the one bad habit we all share.
During one of my occasional trips to Reddit I felt seen by a post in r/millennials, a nostalgia subreddit that is becoming upsettingly relevant:
I have a full time job. I sleep well. I have no kids. I’m single. I don’t party or drink. I’m not particularly stressed in day to day life. Yet I’m fucking exhausted. I don’t want to leave my apartment on the weekends unless I have something planned, and even then I’m pretty picky. In my 20s my weekends were full of non-stop activities, cooking, going out, and posting on social media. But now in my 30s I just want to come home, have my groceries delivered, chill with some Netflix and sleep. Please tell me I’m not the only one!!
Of course, the entire concept of a DAE (Does Anyone Else) bait post is that nearly everyone is indeed experiencing what you are; and with the millennial cohort now either in or rapidly approaching their 40s it’s really no surprise that folks feel tired. But I do think there’s something else besides aging going on, and a short scroll revealed that others do too.
“It’s not just the work culture,” opines DarkLordFrondo, “it’s the entire culture. It is unending overstimulation and high anxiety with decisions repeatedly made for the sake of convenience instead of quality. It permeates into everything, so we still feel like we are at work even when we come home.”
“Well said!” agrees DowntownResident993. “Constant overstimulation and the need to appear or BE busy, even if that is just putting our head down into our phone. Access to everyone and everything at any given notice makes people carry their work everywhere they go.”
“It’s not just working, it’s our diets and constant media consumption especially short form,” adds KD_42.
And they’re right. We are tired all the time, over and above all the things that would normally make us tired (parenting, hangovers.) It’s not just normal tired, like you get after physical labour; it’s an inherently disjointed brain-tired body-not experience. You should have more energy, but you don’t.
And at the risk of succumbing to monocausotaxophilia, it’s the phones. Or rather, it’s the screens, but the phones are the worst offenders, because they’re everywhere you are and they’re constantly calling your name.
As always Casey Johnstone has the goods, in this excellent article about how to read more. Kill your phone, she says.
The best way for me to read more is to choose to do it instead of something else already do, something I can stop doing. This is less and less controversial to say every day, but your phone is not your friend. It is specifically, categorically your enemy in almost every way, and especially when it comes to reading.
I don’t know about you, but basically all the time I spend on my phone is time I could be reading a book instead. Sometimes, that was four hours a day. That’s bonkers. I nuked my phone a couple of years ago and quit social media this year and these were amazing decisions for someone with my particular set of mental challenges. I imagine there are people who have a sustained relationship with social media who read books. I am not one of them, especially now that social media is such a cesspool of stuff I never asked to see. If you are able to open Instagram, close it five minutes later, put your phone down, go into another room, and then read a book for an hour with total focus, I’m in awe of you.
I think the most important and broadly scientific insight I can provide about scrolling is that it takes up about the same amount of mental bandwidth, or fuel (to use last week’s metaphor) that actually doing something you want to do would use. Or to put it in meme format: 1 scroll = 1 fuel.
But 1 fuel = 1 thing you actually wanted to do.
If scrolling really has hijacked your urge to create, the adverse is true: for the mental effort expended on scrolling you could be doing something you want to be doing. They take about the same amount of mental energy – the difference is that scrolling is easier to fall into.
I think it all adds up to a good argument for putting the phone down.
But what if you can’t?
If you are unavoidably welded to your phone — first, side-eye. Is it really unavoidable?
But at some times, for some people, it is genuinely difficult to do anything else. If you are a new mum in the modern world, your phone is your umbilical cord to the rest of it. And if you’re sick, why would you decide to put down a device that can keep you in touch with your friends and watch shows on without needing to hobble to the TV while sneezing?
If cold turkey is not an option, what about warm turkey?
Why not use the screentime to do something you want to be doing?
Why not write
the great Americana novel?I’m serious.
Phones are a bit annoying to type on but that doesn’t stop us when we need to text a friend, or spend many hours texting many friends. And one good things AI has going for it is that voice recognition is getting a lot better.
Apps? Google Docs is free. The notes app on your phone is free. Novelist is free. Obsidian is free. iA Writer is paid (but very beautiful.) There are umpteen more writing-on-your-phone apps.
If you think it sounds ridiculous, I have news for you: author Emily Writes (who I work with now!) wrote two books on her phone.
If you’re using it to enable creativity on that scale, screentime goes from “cause of hives” to “badge of honour”
Even if you’re not a perpetually thwarted author there’s always reading on your phone. Kobo, Kindle, whatever your OS’s native book reader is.
If you can’t not be on your phone, it beats scrolling.
Lifehack: muttering to yourself
A lot of my personal productivity problems come from not being able to decide what to do next, and it turns out I have a lifehack for that: I talk to myself. Like a nutcase.
If I’m stuck in a task or have suddenly arrived in the kitchen without knowing why, I’ll say “What are you doing?” to myself — ideally not in an annoyed way — and I find that if I actually take time to talk myself through what I’d like to be doing the thing starts getting done.
I thought this was just being weird and therefore not worthy of mentioning but apparently it helps with executive function, which is something those of us blessed with ADHD struggle with. Don’t take my word for it, take psychology’s:
And there’s the slightly less authoritative but still useful word of Reddit:
Talking to yourself is also good to prevent you falling into or staying a scroll-hole; if you’ve just picked up your phone aimlessly (again!) just ask yourself “What am I doing?” or “What do I want to be doing?” and that can help steer you into either putting it down or cracking on with Chapter 34: The Clonosaurus Rises.
Thanks, as always, for reading.
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Day 22: the points
- today’s email is all bullet points
- I looked up just now and it’s 11:07
- I got stuck writing that AI article, I really want to get it finished and published before the AI bubble pops
- but before I sat down and got stuck into that nightmare topic I put all the horrible intrusive devices down and mostly forgot about the pressing need to build my business for a bit and
- mowed the lawns
- cleaned the kitchen
- picked up a twokidsworth of mess
- vacuumed the house
- watered the plants
- and a few other miscellaneous tasks
- needless to say, the kids were at the grandparent’s place while this frenzy of activity occurred
- then played with the kids once they got home, you do miss the little things when they’re away
- my daughter has learned the East Coast wave and thinks that when she does it it’s the funniest thing in the world (she is correct) but nothing makes her laugh as much as when her big brother joins her on the floor and crawls and chases her about
- and once the kids were home we ate fish and chips as a family at the outdoor table on the deck as the shadows grew long and the sky turned into that fantastic orange-pink-purple gradient
- and it all crashes in on me as I write this, how wonderful this is, how blessed we are; what did I ever do to deserve this family, this heaven
- thank you, as always, for reading
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Day 21: aaaaarghhhhh
I nearly made the whole body of the email just “aaaargh” but I opted for not. But man, it was tempting. I just spent the best part of the evening taking turns with My Wife trying to get the daughter to sleep when she would much rather be up making cute and not-so-cute noises and yeah. Aaaargh.
I also started doing my morning todo list with my morning coffee — apparently when you’re trying to make a new habit, it’s best to tie the new one to something you do without fail, and I simply never don’t drink coffee. Tonight, after getting through about half of the todo list as is traditional, I am starting to think that the list is simply too long. I’ve read before that it’s better to keep a shorter todo list and get everything checked off than have a long one you can’t complete. But then where will I put the things I need to remember to do but can’t do today? And having all those undone ones looks so untidy; and writing out the same task again the following day is just a pain.
I have never once found a todo system that works for me. Bullet journaling is the closest thing to it but I find myself getting annoyed with that too. Every app has been a mixture of too much and too little, not to mention extortionate pricing. Hey, maybe this nifty little thing that got profiled in the New York Times might help…
https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/ugmonk-analog-to-do-system-review
Wait, what? It’s $100? For a piece of wood with a slot in it? No. God no. This self-improvement space is so endlessly rife with these things; if it’s not an outright grift it’s just absurdly expensive. Maybe I’ll just make one myself; I’ll need some cardstock for the printer and some plywood. If you have access to tools want one I suggest going the same route; by the time you’re done you’ll have an organiser, saved yourself around $90, and you’ll have learned some woodworking!
Or you could just keep the cards on your desk. In a rubber band. They’re like ten cents. Also, I reread the article to check something just now and realised it contains the phrase “The Analog system speaks to my Gemini spirit,” which made me want to bite down on broken glass. Even more aaaargh.
The things that got done today include getting the first batch of Print Club prints sent off (there is still space to join Print Club this October if anyone wants to get amongst it!) as well as the commission I finished yesterday. For reasons I don’t entirely understand, doing this took up nearly the entire morning. Seemingly simple things that develop unwieldy complications as you go are my least favourite kind of tasks. Anyway, here’s the Print Club, in case you missed it the first time around.
Do check it out; I am often very wrong about what I want to be popular but I can’t help loving the idea of getting snail mail happening again.
miscellaneous
A reader sent me this video which I’ve seen before but will watch again, which resonates with the magical combination of “inspirational” and “uncomfortably seen.”
So. How was your week? Feel free to ping me a reply. I appreciate you sticking around for this series, especially on a night like tonight when I imagine these even more frustrating to read than they are to write.
Still, I’m here, and it’s Day 21, and I haven’t missed a day yet. Even if all I manage to send is a mass of guff, I’m finally putting together the daily writing habit I’ve always wanted to have, and once this challenge is over I think it’ll serve me well.
Thanks, as always, for reading.
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Day 8: Sawing the Zs
Sawing the Z’s
Every day I teeter on the edge of not sending one of these out; every day (or night) I manage to do it anyway.
A lot of the pain I experience, mental or physical, has to do with overthinking. I overthink my art, my work, my videos, my newsletters, my health, my relationships; and while I’m sure this is a human universal — no special snowflake stuff here, we’re a species of overthinkers or we’d probably have stayed happy in the trees — I find I could often do with a bit less of it. That’s what this do-shit-everyday project has accomplished, for this newsletter and much else, and for that alone it has been worth it. Instead of agonising over a given decision the short time-frames involved mean I just get stuck in and do the thing. Finally. At last. Took me long enough.
The side effect is that I am very tired and spent this morning sleeping in. Don’t worry, it’s not all the newsletter. A lot of it’s my infant child’s emerging teeth causing her to yell in pain throughout the night as nature apparently intended. But I am pooped, almost as much as she is, and I need to turn in early tonight.
I’m still on the wagon. I went for a run today. I did pullups. And I noticed that after struggling to make 5 pullups at the start of this thirty day thing I am now quietly putting away a couple more per set. I spent a bit of quality time fiddling with my Dungeons & Dragons character sheet; that warlock/bard gunslinger multiclass in a alt-history Wild West setting isn’t going to roll itself, is it?
Oh and a bunch of folks on TikTok really liked that stamp video, and several people actually subscribed to my print club! Exciting stuff (here it is again, if you want to use it to write actual letters to your actual friends.)
I also made a much-requested shirt:
Also I just realised that it’s been more than a week since I did the proper Cynic’s Guide email to all subscribers. Irony! You guys have had more emails than I’ve sent in the rest of the year, and I still haven’t quite managed a weekly cadence for the rest of the email list. Tomorrow! It’ll give them something fun to do with their Sunday.
After this email goes out I’ll head to bed. I can’t wait to sleep blissfully for thirty minutes before the baby wakes up.
Thanks for sticking with me as I stick to whatever this is.
A skeptical dive into the weird, sketchy, occasionally life-changing world
of self-improvement.Social hellsites:
The Gram:
https://www.instagram.com/tworuru/The Tube:
https://www.youtube.com/tworuruThe Tok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@tworuruAnd of course, my website, where art can be bought and all these newsletters are archived (and can even be commented on!) is
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The Department of Biological Determinism
This is a short story set in the world of Harry Potter. Any questions sparked by that sentence, like “why?” and “no, seriously, after everything JKR has said and done… why?“ are, I’m afraid, best answered by reading the the fanfic. I know that the words “fanfic” and “Harry Potter” are enough to create a near-impenetrable resistance to clicking links or reading further, but seriously, if you like any of my work, just read:
The Department of Biological Determinism
(The story is hosted at Archive Of Our Own for not-getting-sued-into-oblivion reasons.)

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Malice through the looking-glass
Back in 2014 – right around the time I was getting married – I did some research and interview work for the project that eventually became the documentary Tickled. Which is why I have this URL, in fact. Anyway, Tickled has been having an interesting time of it. As well as rave reviews they’ve been getting all kinds of attention, including having the subjects of their film show up at an LA Q&A session. I wrote a piece for The Spinoff about it, and you can read it here.
